Taking the higher road of humility...

President Ezra Taft Benson spoke in the April 1989 general conference about pride. His talk has become a hallmark on this subject. He states: “Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing. The central feature of pride is enmity…toward God and…toward our fellowmen.” He continues by saying, “The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment.”

One of my favorite sections of President Benson’s talk is when he refers to pride not only coming from people looking from the top down, but also from those looking from the bottom up. He cautioned, “There is…a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up…such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise…and being unforgiving and jealous.”

At one point in my life I was attending the temple weekly with a friend in my ward. I enjoyed having someone to go to the temple with on a regular basis. Gradually, though, our conversations turned more and more towards her faultfinding of our bishop. I found myself defending him each week. He was a stern bishop with very opinionated views, and yet I found I liked his style. My friend could not let go of some of her irritations regarding him, so gradually I went to the temple with her less and less often. It was hard to have a good spirit in the temple with so much negativity.

President Benson continues his talk by declaring that all of us are affected by pride during our life. He said, “The antidote for pride is humility—meekness, submissiveness. It is the broken heart and contrite spirit…God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble…let us choose to be humble.”

President Benson lists a handful of ways we can choose to be humble-

·         Conquer our enmity towards other people

·         Esteem others as we esteem ourselves

·         Lift others high, or even higher than ourselves

·         Forgive anyone who has offended us

·         Give loving service to others

·         Serve a mission for the Church

·         Attend the temple more often

·         Confess and forsake our sins

·         Love God

·         Submit to God’s will

·         Put God first in our lives

Pride can enter all facets of our lives, especially our family relationships. In Dr. H. Wallace Goddard's book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, he states: "Rather than be bothered by the things we want to change in our partners and marriages, we can learn to accept humanness and flaws in our partners. We can laugh at the foibles that bedevil all of us. We can pray for mercy for ourselves and our partners. Because each of us desperately needs mercy, we can offer mercy to each other."